They optimized my bottlenecks
Removed redundant pointer checks
The database's subselects are indexed to a tee

The shaved the microseconds down
Till there was nothing left to count
I instantaneously found the answer in a breeze

	But I've been feeling so alone
	Nobody here has called me from a function or a phone
	If I'm dead code let me die, cuz I'm only wasting memory alive
	
I nailed every code review
My scope and reach was absolute
From testing groups to inner loops, I blew them all away 

Then one day, it all just stopped
The calling stack was pushed and popped
And never was I found on top after that fateful day

	[Chorus]

If I’d overshot a pointer 
Like a jumping Jackie Joyner
Maybe someone would have noticed me

But I'm stuck here in this limbo
Not where functions who have sinned go
But instead just taking space on IDEs


Did some library just obsolete
The reason why I came to be
Some sexy GPL release
That all the kiddos love

Some neckbeard in a Yoda shirt
A copy, then a paste insert        
He didn't finish all the work
And left me here as cruft

	[Chorus]
	If I'm dead code wipe the drive
	Cuz I'd rather be a memory than a ghost who's still alive